32 – Reflections – 4 months on ...

It’s now 4 months since I left Philippines. I’ve been reflecting recently on my experiences and adventures, while doing further travel in Asia and Europe and also anticipating what it’s going to be like finally returning home to Australia in late October.

Looking back at what drove me to do it:

First and foremost a simple and pure desire to help a developing country. Rather than a short term trip that I could squeeze into my annual leave or offering to do pro-bono work from home in my spare time, I preferred the idea of immersion, full time for a year or so in the hope that this would allow a deeper understanding of the country and culture giving a better chance to offer assistance that was more realistic and sustainable. There was also, of course, a sense of adventure burning within me eager for a personal challenge and to discover exotic places.

It was a pretty simple (perhaps naïve) desire, because one of the things I soon discovered was that international development/aid work is a complex beast – how should it be offered, on who’s terms, what’s our motivation for offering it, is it going where its needed etc etc. When I came across this poem, I found it amusing but also disturbing given the truths, from my observations in the world of international development, that lie behind the humour.

The Development Set

Excuse me, friends, I must catch my jet –
I’m off to join the Development Set;
My bags are packed, and I’ve had all my shots,
I have travellers’ cheques and pills for the trots.

The Development Set is bright and noble,
Our thoughts are deep and our vision global;
Although we move with the better classes,
Our thoughts are always with the masses.

In Sheraton hotels in scattered nations,
We damn multinational corporations;
Injustice seems so easy to protest,
In such seething hotbeds of social rest.

We discuss malnutrition over steaks
And plan hunger talks during coffee breaks.
Whether Asian floods or African drought,
We face each issue with an open mouth.

We bring in consultants whose circumlocution
Raises difficulties for every solution –
Thus guaranteeing continued good eating
By showing the need for another meeting.

The language of the Development Set,
Stretches the English alphabet;
We use swell words like ‘epigenetic’,
‘Micro’, ‘Macro’, and ‘logarithmetic’.

Development Set homes are extremely chic,
Full of carvings, curios and draped with batik.
Eye-level photographs subtly assure
That your host is at home with the rich and the poor.

Enough of these verses – on with the mission!
Our task is as broad as the human condition!
Just pray to God the biblical promise is true:
The poor ye shall always have with you.

By Ross Coggins

No matter how much I thought of Bacolod as home, for the time that I was there, I was always and would always be seen as a foreigner who could only be passing through. There was always the constant offers of taxi’s or tricycads to the airport or seaport. And I must be an American. One day I was on a jeepney and a stranger tried to strike up a conversation with me by asking “What state are you from?”. When I said “New South Wales” he gave me a very puzzled look. “Australia” I added. “Oh, you’re Australian” he said “I thought you were from the States”. My flatmate and fellow AYAD Rachel who arrived a few months before I left, was asked whether she was a Mormon, a missionary or a mountaineer?!

Personally, I felt very strongly about not wanting to be seen as a missionary, but for many Filipino’s, it was an easier concept to grasp than ‘volunteer’ because it was what they were used to and could accept. For me, the term “missionary” is associated with colonialism and forcing change on a community, rather than helping a community to achieve their own goals on their own terms. Filipino national hero, Jose Rizal, a man before his time, recognised the evils of colonialism at the time and wrote about “those who come to shape our destinies” in the novel (Noli Me Tangere) that ultimately got him hung by the Spanish:

“…let us not ask for concern with what is good for the country of him who comes as a stranger to make his own fortune and leave afterwards. What does it matter to him to earn the gratitude or the curses of a people he does not know, in a country where he does not have his roots, where he has no memories to cherish or loves to keep? For glory to be palatable and agreeable it is necessary that it resound in the ears of our loved ones, in the atmosphere of our home or the Motherland which will hold our ashes. We want glory to crown us in our graves, to warm the cold of death with its rays, to keep us from being reduced to nothingness, and instead to leave something of ourselves. Nothing of this sort can we promise those who come to shape our destinies. And the worst in all of this is that they leave when they start to realize their duties.”

The short term nature of overseas aid work or development is often cited as huge hindrance to its sustainability. Even after my 10 months I was only just feeling like I knew what I was doing when it was time to leave. So I can understand why the emphasis of the AYAD program is on building capacity of the locals so that the work can continue after you’ve left, more or less the same sentiments of this poem from PRRM (Philippine Rural Reconstruction Movement):

Building capacities for sustainability

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Plan with them
Work with them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have
Teach by showing
Learn by doing
Not a showcase but a pattern
Not odds and ends but a system
Not piecemeal but integrated approach
Not to conform but transform
Not relief but release

This poem really strikes a chord with me. It pretty much sums up the AYAD approach and what I was striving to do. But strangely, it’s not as easy as it sounds. The cultural differences when it comes to decision making or problem solving is a good illustration of one of the many challenges. On several occasions a local would ask me what I wanted to do (for example, this might be in a work situation regarding whether I want to attend a meeting or maybe in a travel situation regarding where I want to go on the tour), which I defer back to them “what are the options, you’re the local experts, what do you recommend?”. This is not always taken positively. It would seem that unfortunately, the ingrained colonial mentality dictates that the Westerner must know what he/she wants and/or what is best. The local may see it as a weakness, ie the Westerner is allowing themselves to loose face, by openly asking for more information. Yet the Westerner is conditioned to approach decision making by gathering all information, assessing the options and coming up with the best possible solution. (e.g. What is the meeting about? Do you think it would be beneficial if I attend? Is that a priority for the organisation over what I’m working on now?) The Filipino way, however, is to go with gut feeling. Therefore, the local may not only be embarrassed but may be also confused as to why the Westerner is asking so many questions. In this situation, to retain harmony, the answer given will often be what the local thinks the Westerner wants to hear, rather than the true answer, because the ultimate aim is to keep the Westerner happy (even if only in the short term) … and make them stop asking so many questions! In such situations it is easy for the westerner to fall into the role of ‘colonial master’ because this sense of the superiority of the Westerner is reinforced by the locals. It was really important and also really challenging to avoid falling into that trap especially when such situations made for some rather frustrating work and travel experiences!

I think that I have changed as a result of my experiences, that is inevitable. Things that would normally stress me don’t phase me as much now. I’ve learned to go-with-the-flow a bit more. But at the same time, I have a new appreciation for ‘systems and procedures’ in a workplace. We often whinge about workplace bureaucracy back home, but it’s a lot more challenging trying to work in a place where they either don’t exist, are unclear, contradictory or not communicated.

I’m now starting to look forward to the familiarities of home, but also cognicent of what’s known as “The re-entries”. I know I will have to be prepared for mixed reactions from people. Some may consider that I’ve just been on a holiday sponsored by the Australian government. Others may not understand why I would want to spend a year in a hot dirty place. Still others may see it as putting my career ‘on hold’ for a year rather than career development. And there will be those who will think that I must have done it to feel good about myself.

Overall, its been one of the best things I’ve ever done. My only regret perhaps was not making more of an effort to learn the language. As I’ve said before, most Filipino’s speak English (well, a Filipinised American English with splashes of Spanish). Some of the educated older generation can still speak Spanish but the main legacy of the Spanish was Catholocism while it was the Americans who brought the education system. Schools are taught in English and the national language Tagalog (which is the language spoken in Manila, subsequently made the national language much to the displeasure of the rest of the country who all have their own regional languages). For foreigners, there is a distinct lack of written resources for learning the regional languages outside of Manila. The language spoken in Bacolod is Ilonggo, known for its sing song intonation, which is very easy on the ear. People sound happy even when their being angry!

Although I didn’t pick up a lot of the spoken language, I found I did pick up many of the gestures or body language which I instinctively kept using in Vietnam to puzzled looks! Here’s some examples:

• An open mouth with a slight forward tilt of the head = “pardon, I didn’t hear you, can you repeat that”
• A single nod (on the up direction first accompanied by a raise of the eyebrows) = “yes” / “OK” or acknowledging someone you know
• A wave with the palm facing downwards = “come here” e.g. when hailing a jeepney
• Pursed lips and a backward throw of the head = “over there” (in the direction of the pursed pointing lips!)

Before leaving the Philippines I had one final beach weekend with fellow AYAD’s in Boracay. I couldn’t leave the Philippines without seeing the place everybody raves about. It is without a doubt the most famous and most popular tourist destination in the country. Sure, it has soft white sand, palm trees and clear water, but it’s so different to anywhere else I’ve been in the Philippines: it’s organised, it’s clean, it’s highly developed and there are set prices for things! This is the only part of the Philippines that many tourists see, and as a result would get a very warped view of what the country is like. But while it’s not the authentic Pinoy experience, it’s the perfect destination for a beach party weekend, which is what we were there for!

One thing that struck me about the Philippines was the common desire of many Filipinos to have white skin instead of brown leading to a proliferation of whitening soaps and whitening moisturisers in the pharmacies and supermarkets. It was at times difficult to find a soap that didn’t have whitening agent in it. Again, I’m guessing this is a hangover from colonialism where white skin indicated nobility and they were wealthy enough not to have to do manual labour in the fields under the beating sun. Ironically, for white westerners, a tan can indicate that you’re wealthy enough to afford holidays in tropical locations!

There is another common desire by many Filippinos to leave the Philippines and work overseas. My final memory of the Philippines is the driver who took me to the airport. He was a nice guy, we chatted a bit, and then as we were pulling up to departures he produced a neatly bound resume complete with covering letter, heavy machinery licence and passport photo. He asked me to take the folder and help him find a job in Australia. Overseas Filipino workers are the countries largest export. There is even a special line for them at passport control in Manila airport. Just about everyone I met had a sister or a cousin or someone they knew working as maids in Hong Kong or Singapore or drivers in Dubai or janitors in America, sending money home to their families.

It made me think back to our farewell party before leaving Australia over a year ago now. We had decorated one wall of the little apartment we rented in Newcastle with several travel related quotes. One in particular stands out to me now and makes more sense than ever:

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” Miriam Beard